December 2011
41 posts
Your Congress In Action! →
Those silly Internet Protocol addresses always revealing things that happened.
Important questions
Adam: is “standing on furniture” a cultural thing in Ohio? Or is it something I missed growing up because I’m an only child?
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Publix - The Checkout Chronicles - Vol. 2
Publix Bag Boy: "Design"?
Me: Haha yep.
PBB: That's nice and simple. People try to do too much.
M: Haha yeah, I guess
PBB: It's like, 'here have a lion that will eat you.'
M: A Liger, amirite?
PBB: Napoleon Dynamite was the worst movie ever. Really.
M: Haha yeah.
PBB: I hear they're coming out with an animated version of it.
M: Really? That'll be interesting.
PBB: Yeah, I hope it's by the same people who make the Boondock Saints, though. I hope it's not the Jersey Shore people making it. That would be the worst.
M: Well, it's all animated in South Korea, anyway.
PBB: Yeah. [beat] Where are you from?
M: Washington, DC.
PBB: Have you been to any of the Occupy protests?
M: No, but I have a few friends who've gone to take pictures.
PBB: Did you see the thing were the guy had a gun and the cops tried to arrest him for it but he had to reach into his pants to pull out a piece of paper saying he could carry it?
M: No. Really?
PBB: Yeah, man. Those cops will do anything to hurt our second whatchamacallit.
M: Second amendment?
PBB: Yeah. It's my right. It's a free country. [puts last grocery bag in cart]
M: Well thanks, man. Have a good night!
PBB: You too! Stay free!
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Publix - The Checkout Chronicles - Vol. 1
The scene:
The checkout line at the Publix in Ft. Myers Beach Florida.
Dad and I went there tonight to get things that were mostly beer and coffee.
I’m chatting with the bag boy as he puts no more than two items at a time into a plastic bag and back into the cart.
I’m wearing my Mule FeedStore Design t-shirt.
What follows in the next post is as close to the verbatim conversation...
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Adam tried to make cookies tonight →
xmasymas:
me: ok bear with me
i don’t have flour but i want cookies
what if
i use
cake mix
Everything seems normal. There’s that butter chick.
See, if you fold up the packaging her knees become titties! So far this substitution is going great.
Looks like cookie dough! Visions…
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wjflowers replied to your photo: Sure, I’ll just scan my banana for chipmunk…
The only time I considered doing ANYthing with QR codes is when I realized I could print and post a few for BlackBerry users to scan and be redirected to a page berating them for scanning QR codes. True story.
Ha!
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kung fu grippe: RotL: "He's gonna get the... →
merlin:
Roderick on the Line, Ep. 11: “Everybody Knew What Mr. Finnell Did”
Roderick on the Line, Ep. 11: “Everybody Knew What Mr. Finnell Did” on Huffduffer
[from: 00:18:52-00:20:12]
MERLIN: And, then, I remember…one day, going into class—because, everyone knew what Mr. Finnell did…
So I’m sitting in a coffee shop listening to this, and just start bursting with laugher. The...
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How Frank Luntz is teaching Republicans to talk... →
austinkleon:
The evil DoubleSpeak genius Frank Luntz is up to his old tricks:
1. Don’t say ‘capitalism.’ 2. Don’t say that the government ‘taxes the rich.’ Instead, tell them that the government ‘takes from the rich.’ 3. Republicans should forget about winning the battle over the ‘middle class.’ Call them ‘hardworking taxpayers.’ 4. Don’t talk about ‘jobs.’ Talk about ‘careers.’ 5. Don’t say...
